And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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