plz talk dirty to me
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
