would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
