So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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