ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You just made me feel so damn special
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
