Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
