May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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