You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Shame is for Republicans.
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