I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My vagina just clenched in fear
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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