I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
