Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
