honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
