you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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