Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
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