No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
