ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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