its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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