I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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