So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think your dad took our porno
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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