i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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