Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
