According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
