I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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