i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
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His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
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I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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