my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
