if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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