doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
