Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
