i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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