i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So apparently I’m into choking now
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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