Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
