I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
