Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
