Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
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It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
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my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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