Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
