I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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