Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
