I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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