shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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