Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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