Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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