i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
