is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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