Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
