when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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