she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i dont even know how to be here
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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