Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
