His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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