And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
