We need to rekindle our bromance
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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