My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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