Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
