I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
...so i touched it.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize