paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
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His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
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I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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