You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
