If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
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You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
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We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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