I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
