I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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