She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Go christen that room with your naked body.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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