..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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