dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
