dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
