i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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