I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
