I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
