feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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