I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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