You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
