it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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