How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
